September 21, 2017
So I have been trying to write this blog for awhile. And it’s funny because I thought it would have been one of the easier ones to write, since the point was so simple. (By simple I mean it took me a year and a half to learn it – and even now having learned it, it’s like swimming upstream to put it into practice :).)
Why the title? Well I’m glad you asked. I will probably regret using this title and even talking about this subject. See, my best friend is a horse trainer. Which means I get to hear all about horses. And I mean ALL about horses.
I’m not sure how to properly explain my lack of interest on this subject. I am not an animal lover. In fact, I am so not an animal lover… my parents who just went on vacation… asked my best friend to watch their dogs. I was like… “Hey I’m not that bad. I may not like animals, but I do at least have some sense of responsibility in me.”
My mom was like, “Sure you do…. Karin seriously do you mind taking care of the dogs. If you could let them outside when you get of work….” blah blah blah… I wasn’t really paying attention. Which was probably why mom wasn’t trusting me with her dogs.
(For the record I have been taking care of the dogs, though Karin had been a huge help in letting the dogs out after work since she gets off earlier. I’ve got a system down… I found out if you feed the dogs less, they don’t have to be let out as much… A Win, Win in my eyes. 🙂 LOL. I”M SO KIDDING! I’m kidding people. Don’t go calling animal protective services on me. The dogs are fine. By fine I mean alive. LOL.)
Back to my story…
The Lord has a sense of humor because I am surrounded by animal lovers.
My best friend as a horse trainer has tons of horse training stories. And she likens many of her training stories to the Lord. The Lord can use all things to teach lessons, He is a Creator, thee Creator. So everything in the physical world points to Him.
Well she told me about the Round Pen Training Method. And the second I heard this story, I knew I was in the Round Pen.
The basic gist is this… (Now keep in mind all you horse people… I’m not up on the correct lingo and honestly I barely get the concept… so this next paragraph I am sure you are going to want to correct and tell me all the details so that I get it right… so I want to state up front… I was only half listening to the story in the first place :).. hehehe)…. You get the horses in the round pen and you keep them working, running, etc. As long as they are trying to get away from the trainer, trying to not pay attention to the trainer, whatever, the trainer keeps them working. But when they focus on the trainer… the Trainer is their “RESTING PLACE”.
I’m listening to this story and I knew instantly I was in the Round Pen. And this story for was for me. I can’t explain the last year and a half. But “running” and “working” sums it up. It felt like I was in a hurry all the time. I had to get to work and at work… I can’t stress enough how hard I had to work to get what little work I did get done. I’m talking weird stuff that I can’t blame anyone for. Tasks that should take an hour max were taking two days. Computers crashing, emails crashing, it was just like spinning your wheels constantly. Like you’re on a treadmill at a fast pace going no where.
And we all know how I hate treadmills.
But then after work, I had the library and then selling clothes on the side. It was like go, go, go. I really thought I just had to “Work Harder” to fix the problem. Then I heard about the Round Pen and knew that I had to look to the Lord. But honestly I thought I was looking to the Lord. I was reading His word an hour a day. I was praying to Him, asking Him to help me to be honorable to my bosses and to do what was right in His sight.
I tell most of this story in a previous blog when we learned about the book of Haggai. How the people were like… when we get time and money we will take care of the Lord’s house. And the Lord was like… You don’t have time and money because you are NOT doing the Work I gave you.
Long story short, I thought I was looking to the Lord… and I was… GENERALLY. But not specifically about my job. My job and my life I was basically trying to conquer and solve my problems through Hard work. The Lord was like, look at Me… do what I say as your Trainer. Then I take care of the rest.
What was He telling me to do?
Funny enough.. He told me to Write.
That didn’t make any sense to me. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love writing. I MISS writing. Through the chaos of life… that was the thing I lost. I figured the “Right” thing to do was to work. To work hard to get on top of my job. To work a second job to pay my debt. To do all the responsible things first.
And then when I got on top of all that… Then there would be time to write.
I never thought of Writing… as a job the Lord gave me.
But then the Lord does tell us the parable of the talents and the one guy who buried his talent… there was weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Not that I ever considered my writing a talent. Honestly I look at it as something I enjoy doing, but there are so many people who are talented at writing and telling stories… and I never considered me one of those people. I mean I take twenty minutes to make a single point.
So of course that couldn’t be what the Lord was telling me to do.
But if the Lord was telling me to write…
This brought up another issue. What if the Lord was telling me to write… but then I don’t think He was telling me to write because I’m not good at it anyway… so then I don’t do it.
Well the Children of Israel did EXACTLY that. The Lord told them to go into the Promised Land… But the Children of Israel after hearing the spies were like.. No way we can beat the giants… God must not have meant what He said when he said he was giving us the promised land…
So they didn’t go into the Promised Land.
So God said they were going to die in the Wilderness and their entire generation (except for Caleb and Joshua) would NOT enter the promised land.
Well the Children of Israel repented when they heard that bad news. And they hurried and went up to go fight the battle.
But God was like… No.
“It’s too late. I told you to go up and you didn’t. Now you die in the wilderness.”
This story scares me. Cause that means there is a time when God is like… NOPE. Too Late. You missed your chance.
So I decided to write.
You think that sounds easy. But it wasn’t with my schedule. I didn’t want to “fit God’s work” into my already busy schedule. I wanted to put His work FIRST.
But how. I’m up at 5:30. I start working my side job at 6:30. I leave for my day job at 7:30. I get home at 4:30, just in time to race to the library to Read the Bible at 5:00. And then I race back home to work my side job of selling clothes at 6:00.
I started rushing through my morning routine and hoping to finish my side job at 7:00am. So I could write from 7:00am-7:30am. And I admit I was praying to the Lord for help because usually it takes me about ten hours to write a blog and usually it’s throughout several days cause I have to think things through and everything.
Well I was able to get a couple blogs out…
And the Lord was SO good to me.
In two weeks, it was like everything changed at my job. And I know it was the Lord because the solution was so out of the blue and so out in left field. One of my bosses actually took the phones – practically eliminating me from customer service and leaving me to do paperwork… But my boss went one step further AND took the rentals… leaving me to do the one job I’ve been doing for ten years… Bookkeeping.
You don’t understand how huge this was… for the first time in five years.. I can actually listen to my Bible in the office again. I can actually work and get a lot of the paperwork done. I leave work and I’m not consumed with negative customers and unfinished work. I really thought I was going to have to leave my job. I was failing every day I showed up. I couldn’t get away from the customers and yet I had all the paperwork for five companies piling higher and higher.. There was no way out. The end of it was going to be a big fat FAIL. And I hate to fail.
And now… It was like I had a new job.
“I make all things new”.
That was the thought that came to mind when I asked the Lord if this change was from Him.
But I don’t want to lie to you guys. The problem was… the thorns continue to grow. And I couldn’t always keep with the morning routine of getting at least a little writing time.
The thorns kept creeping and taking over.
But I want to be faithful to the Lord.
Cause I would really like to NOT die in the wilderness :).. LOL.
And this is where it starts to get real… If what I have in my life is not allowing me to do the work of the Lord first… then it is time to make hard decisions. We all have a choice.
I chose to move. So that I could have time at night and in the morning, away from people so that I could write.
Not because I don’t want to be around people.
Well mostly because I don’t want to be around people…. – I mean I am an introvert.. LOL.
No seriously, if the Lord tells us to do something and our lives or schedules don’t allow us… well I don’t think God is going to let me use that as an excuse. So that means I have to change my lift to better suit to Lord’s plans.
Which I guess is the whole deal of the Round Pen. The Horse has to change it’s.. whatever you call it… to be in line with the Trainer.
Yes I know… That’s not the right horse analogy. Who cares. You all know what I’m saying. If you’re in the Round Pen, look to the Trainer.
Then you can rest.
Of course then He will give you more work.. But hey at least you will be running in a straight line, working for the Kingdom rather than running around in circles going no where in life only to die in the wilderness.
I’m just saying.
Update.. this just received from a horse person… at the end of the blog, the horse has to change its instinct/nature, horses can’t stand to be alone because they are herd animals and it goes against their instincts/nature to focus on the trainer, instead of their herd, they are called herd-bound horses.
I was going to file it under “Don’t Care”, but thought I would share 🙂 LOL.. It’s like.. as my best friend she doesn’t even know me.